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According to Arlene Gregory of Delaware, Ohio, a man from that place, named Douglas Fir Trees, married Jane Wood.

Ms. Gregory reports that other members of the Trees family are also named for tree varieties. With the aid of a tree manual, the family could come up with some fine names indeed.

One of the most beautiful for a girl might be Carolina Silver Bell Trees, although Carolina also goes with Water Ash, Cherry, Red Maple, and Poplar.

Georgia wouldn't be bad, either, with Georgia Oak Trees as one possibility, followed naturally in the Buckeye state by Georgia Buckeye Trees. Georgia Hackberry Trees leaves something to be desired.

The pine family offers some good ones: Rosemary Pine Trees, Virginia Pine Trees, Walter Pine Trees, and Jack Pine Trees.

Myrtle is also good - maybe just Myrtle Trees - or possibly Myrtle Holly Trees or Myrtle Oak Trees, but certainly not Wax Myrtle Trees. Holly Trees, minus Myrtle, would be especially suitable for a Christmastime baby.

Laurel Trees would be attractive, as would Magnolia Trees, and Laurel Magnolia Trees has a good rhythm.

Maybe we should be dubious about Honey Locust Trees, Juneberry Trees, and Mimosa Trees, and Tupelo Gum Trees sounds a little messy.

The Trees family can eliminate most tree-names with no more than a glance. No Big-toothed Aspen Trees, for example. Hairy Balm-of-Gilead Trees would have to be spelled Harry. Slippery Elm sounds like a poor choice, too, and so do some of the hickories such as Pignut, Mockernut, and Kingnut. Hoary Basswood and Bastard White Oak haven't a chance.

Some of the oaks have rather unpleasant names: Cow Oak, Possum Oak, Turkey Oak, and Scrub Chestnut Oak. The Hog Plum isn't much better.

Nobody would name a baby PawPaw Trees. There's a comic-strip character named Lolly, but Loblolly Bay Trees would be ridiculous. Believe it or not, there's a Farkleberry tree, also known as Sparkleberry or Tree Huckleberry. Huckleberry did all right for Mark Twain's leading boy, but that name hasn't caught on outside of Hannibal, Missouri.

Hook, J. N. The Book of Names, A Celebration of Mainly American Names: People, Places, and Things. Franklin Watts, 1983.